just tell me step by step of what I should do to make everything right. In every situation there’s 3 sides to everything, yours, mine and the truth.
This is my truth.
I just want you, you alone. I don’t care about the other stuff, the little things, I just want you and I, the way things were. I don’t want to be this monster because that’s not who I am, but it’s who I have become. I think I became this so I could try to hold on to you because realistically I think no one could ever love me truly and stay satisfied like you did. I think I’m boring and try to hold on by squeezing. We’ve both messed up but I take full responsibility for my childish actions. You were right when you said I was jealous, I am even though I had nothing to worry about. That girl is tall, thin and really really pretty and I think I thought you were bored with my short, girlish, serious ways. What I most was jealous about is that you thought she was cool, a cool chic. You used to think that about me and want to hang with me like I was one of the guys, even with the guys.. But that changed and I hate that, I miss that. I think that’s why I was so happy about us. I would do anything to go back to that because I miss that. I liked when you used to laugh at my dumb jokes, I know I’m not funny but it was cool when you laughed anyways. Haha I liked when you talked about really important stuff to you like aliens and the big world out there, it was cool and i liked how you liked my thoughts on all that. I miss most being your pal cause then you talked to me about everything and nothing and could just screw away a day with me… I liked that. I felt special, that feeling was irreplaceable.. I want that back. I want you to just look at me like you used to, like i was the best thing in the entire world… I felt you stopped thinking that and that’s when this monster came into play. I just became this villain and I don’t know who this person was, I don’t like it. I do mean everything I have ever said to you, when I said you were my end all be all, I meant it. I just want you okay, I just want to make you smile like you used to. I liked that smile, you smiled with your eyes then, that’s when I knew you were truly happen. You are always thinking and you show your emotions in your eyes. What I really want is for you and I to just sit, just sit like we used to and listen to records. We don’t need to say anything, we don’t even need to look at each other but just know that there’s no place I’d rather be in that moment than there listening to those songs with you..
And maybe we could eat your killer grilled cheeses too?